Forty years ago. What was happening in your life 40 years ago? I was a young man that needed God to work in my life. I was one year from college graduation, but was not satisfied with my degree program. I was living at home with my parents and serving in my local church and enjoying both very much. But I needed to move forward in my life. And God was calling me to follow Him in a direction I did not want to go.
You see, I had a problem. It was a problem that had been part of my life since I was a young boy and now I was 21 years old and the problem was still with me. It had to do with shyness in public settings. This problem really came to the forefront when I was 12 years old. Our family had moved to Oklahoma from Tennessee and I was being enrolled in the new school.
My parents and I were sitting in a counselor’s office and the adults were discussing the classes I would be enrolled in that year. One class was an elective and could either be a music choir class or a speech class. As I sat there and listened to the conversation, I was wondering why I might need to take a speech class. And when my Father made the decision that it would be the speech class, I was befuddled. Little did I know that this would be a seminal moment in my life.
When we were together at home later that day, I asked my Father why I needed to take a speech class, because I thought I spoke rather well. He explained to me that this class consisted of writing down organized thoughts and ideas and standing in front of the class and giving a “speech.” I was mortified.
I could not believe what had just occurred in my life and how this was going to impact me at such a young age. It was difficult enough to move away from my home, my neighborhood, my school, my church, my extended family, and my friends. It was going to be hard enough to make the transition to all of these new relationships here. But now I was going to be thrust into a situation that was the dread of my life – standing alone in front of a group of people, with all of them looking right at me, and talking.
Without going into the details, the class was just as traumatic as I thought it would be. Oh, I made it through and received a good grade for the class. My father helped me write my speeches (I had to give about 3 or 4). But when the class ended, I almost made a vow that I would never allow myself to put into such a situation as that again. Little did I know that God had different plans for my life.
So back to my situation as a young man of 21 trying to discern God’s will for my life. I was sensing the call of God on my life to be willing to fully serve Him in some capacity that might require me to work full time in some ministry. This would not have been considered unusual in my setting. My father’s job was serving as one of the ministers at our church. He coordinated activities and oversaw the finances of the church. But this was not a position that interested me.
I loved music and enjoyed singing in the choirs, but I did not have the musical interest or ability to be the Church music leader. I had enjoyed and been challenged by missionary stories that I had read, but felt no calling in that direction. Being a youth pastor certainly did not interest me. So this left only one position in our type of church that required someone to serve in a full time capacity – the pastor. And this position for me was not even something I could consider.
Remember my shyness. Remember the dread that overcame me every time I stood in front of a group of people. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t, I just couldn’t. But God . . .
Oh how God delights in using our weaknesses for His glory. It solves so many problems when He does this. It keeps us humble and needy. It shows others that God is in control. It tends to give God the glory instead of us. It causes us to lean on Him, and others to focus on Him. It frustrates the devil, because he does not like it. It is a win, win, situation for God and all His people.
But we as humans have a will. And often we would rather follow our will instead of God’s will (it is called iniquity). Because God’s will often takes us down a path that exposes our weaknesses; uses our weaknesses, and causes others to see us for who we really are. But those who follow God must learn to submit. And this is the beauty of following God. When we do, God is able to take our weaknesses, and use them for His strength.
Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
The day came in January of 1979, that God placed a call on my life to follow His leading and commit myself to becoming a preacher of the Gospel. The call was clear, and I answered the call. Little did I know that the events that would unfold in the following 7 months would lead my church to take the step of ordaining me to the preaching ministry of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I will share in an upcoming post what happened in those preceding months that led to my ordination.
On this trip Nathan and I have been able to see some of the fruit that came from what took place in that time of my life.
